Hello !
It's a horrid night for me :(. I'm so tired of this unover war. There's no way we can settle these problems in good terms. I love her so much and I know she do too . But those unappropriate dialogues should never exist between us !
I can never make you understand and you couldn't make me too ! What should I do.. Her words is like bloody rats bitting and hurting me ,eagerly makes me scream and put her life to an end !
That woman who's shouting so much, mumbling those uncertain words, and saying those ugliest thoughts is my mom! How smelly she is, how bad stunning she makes me , how wordless she drive me , how thoughtless she judge me , she's still my one and only mom!
I know I can never offend her ! Eventhough she kills me with those abusive words... I'm so dissapointed how she kills my dreams with many of her unsupportive acts, she reappears my blames on her, she leave me speachless after she tore up my courage to be someone outstanding.
Why she did all of these? Why didn't she think about it ? Why did she started all of this from the beginnig? Why doesn't she reckon it as a sin to destroy a life ? Why is she rarely believe in what she should ? Why she screw it up ? Why she drive me in this bloody madness ?
~ Am I inneed here? Am I suppose to believe her? Am I that moron you ever want me to be ?
You are my mom. You should support me. Understand what I truly need. Know what I honestly believe. Believe in what I want you to believe. Don't just judge me and tell me what I shouldn't and wouldn't do.
If I ask you to answer me, I don't think you know what I need. I don't think you know what have I lived. I don't think you know which stuff is me cos you don't even know which one is me !
How am I to wish you happiness if every second in my life you make me in this sorrowness..
I didn't mean to make us worse but how can I express it if you kill my nerves!
I've once know that I should not wash my dirty linen on public! But this is all I got .. Where else can I write and cry ? Besides, everyone got their own problems and nobody really matters when there's nothing can settle a matter !
Praying for us to reunite again is just what I always do ,,, :'(
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